"IDEAL" age-gap between kids 👶👶

 

Ideal age- gap between kids is an interesting topic of discussion, especially, during early parenthood years. Everyone, from twenties to nineties, suggests the new parents to space their kids in a certain way. 

As soon as the first baby's first teeth erupts, questions and statements start pouring-

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- "When are you having second?" 

- "Did you plan something?"

- "Beta, sath-sath bache pal jate hain."

- "No....no...please wait atleast 2 years."

- "Arey, 5-year age gap BEST!"

- "Beta, baad mein mushkil hoti hai."

Some sane parents ignore all this and some sane parents, who turn insane😄, decide to visit a doctor.

The answer doctors usually give (with due respect to all the doctors)-

- "You should 'ideally' wait for 18 months. It is good for both mother and baby. Don't stress out. If you both are healthy, you can take your time."

Even after visiting the doctor, some parents are unsatisfied because they don't feel that they have found the "IDEAL" answer. Finally, everyone starts reading books and articles on spacing between kids, pros and cons of this age- gap, that age- gap and so on.

In previous years, I have met ample- ample number of parents with two kids and believe me, the age- gap between their children is as varied as, from 'less than 1 year' to 'more than 13 years.' So which couple had ideally spaced children? I feel everyone had his/ her own reasons and stories about family planning.

- Some wanted to have 3 year gap, but, God was not ready to bless them, until the first one was 7.

- Some didn't even plan but God blessed them with another tiny trouble without even being asked for.

- Some had genuine reproductive/ health issues, leading to varying age- gaps. 

- Some I met, were very proud that, they exactly had the age- gap which they wanted.

- Some blamed their parents for pressurising for kids, so they couldn't do the maths of spacing their kids. 

Whatever the reason may be, ultimately, it is The Divine, who decides the birth of any soul on this planet. So, why run behind the concept of "IDEAL?" To all the first time parents, enjoy your first babies, first. The most important thing to consider for second pregnancy should be a "mother's health." If a mother is in the pink of her health, not only physically, but mentally too, then you may progress for second. Do not stress out for having a particular, fixed age- gap. I know these days, the jobs and careers are such that, we start planning everything, first child- sabbatical- kids in day care- rejoin job- 3 years job- second child- and so on. But, how many percentage of parents would agree that everything happened as per their plans? Lucky are the ones whose plans got successful. This over- planning, sometimes, fuels more trouble, and rather than enjoying the phase of getting pregnant the second time, parents end up messing their emotions. 

We all observe siblings with varying age- gaps around us. There is no guarantee that the siblings with larger age-gap are more loving and caring than with lesser age-gaps. Neither its true that the ones with lesser age-gap fight or gel more. So, nothing is right and wrong. Nothing is "IDEAL". Plan. Do plan...but if you fail, its OK. Let the 'Ultimate Creator' create the angel soul for you. When the tiny bundle will be ready, every plan will fail. 

Whatever you are blessed with and whatever be the spacing between kids, don't forget to love and pamper both. Do not make the elder one adult when the second child arrives and do not make the younger one being over-protective. Just enjoy both the kids, for whatever mess they create, their bonding and love is eternal and a pure delight to watch :)